Changing My Self-Image

For some reason, there is a vision of myself in my head of a girl, soft and sweet and quiet, introverted and awkward. Interested in books more than people, aloof like a cat, fragile and gentle and weak. A little flower child, and delicate. A warm, homey kind of person, baking and sewing and staying quiet and polite. A caretaker. Feminine. Delicate. Sweet. Not a princess, because I don’t think that highly of myself. The cook. The side character. Not beautiful, but pretty, maybe. A solid, earthy kind of person. A Hufflepuff.

But listen, I am a god damn lioness. I am a knight. I am the sun itself. I am blood and bone and flesh, and I am strong, and I am angry. I will fight until my last breath, dig my fingers into the bare earth and claw myself forward even when everything else is shattered, and I will fight for you. Listen to me. Everyone who has ever felt voiceless, I am your voice. Everyone who has ever buckled under the weight of the terribleness of the world, I will lend you a shoulder. I will drag this entire fucking planet kicking and screaming towards a kinder world. The world will change in my wake, do you hear me? I will be remembered.

And you know what? I am awe-strikingly beautiful as sunrise over ash and that is the least important thing about me. It’s four AM and I am done with self-loathing disguised as humility. I am a dragon, I am an empress. I am everyone I have ever wanted to be, and I will be better and I will be more.

I’m putting my head down, shoulders forward, pushing hard until I become the person I was always meant to be, scarred, but stronger, incandescent. And I will do all of that open-hearted and loving you, all right? You. Humanity. Everyone on this planet and most of all myself. I will take every blow and keep coming, and you will not take my softness and turn it against me. Whether you love me or hate me, I will be undeniable. I will be a force to be reckoned with.

I am coming for everyone who has ever stepped on the powerless. I am coming for everyone who has hurt those smaller in the confidence that there would be no consequence. I am here, and I am their voice, and I am roaring. I am a lioness.


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