To Myself: A Reminder.

Breathe deep. Deeper. Let it out. Keep breathing and don’t stop. This is the first thing you need to do, and the most important. There’s a point at which jokes about suicide stop being jokes. You have an entire life to live for, and there’s nothing so bad you can’t bear it. It’s anxiety, remember? Nothing’s wrong, your brain chemistry’s just off. It’s going to be okay. It’s going to be okay.

It’s okay to rest. Let yourself rest. You pushed yourself too hard, and you’re tired. Next NaNo, let’s just commit to the normal stuff. Just because you can write four thousand words a day doesn’t mean you should. You’re burned out. It will go away. And of course your story’s garbage. That’s the point of it.

You haven’t been sleeping well, lately, that’s huge. You’re away from home, and overstimulated, and lots of people have been asking you the exact questions and talking to you about things that trigger your anxiety. You won’t feel like this tomorrow. You didn’t feel like this this morning. I know it feels like eternity when you’re in the middle of it, but it’s not. You can get through this.

it’s okay it’s okay it’s okay deep breaths don’t cry it’s okay

no it’s not.

 

 

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